‘You did such a great job!

‘ow, nothing special, anyone could have done this’.

Sound familiar? It’s something people, and especially woman are pretty good at. At the moment it’s a very important theme in my life because of stuff that’s happening at work and because of the move. When I look at myself in the mirror I look tired and my skin looks spotty and unclean. Really, if work related stuff didn’t make me cry at the moment, my looks would. I’m also pretty sure I’ve lost weight again.

Ok, stop feeling sorry about yourself!!

As you know I started a new job in November after having lost my last job for reasons that are still unclear to me. But, at this new job they are really positive about the things I do, the plans and idea’s I have and the way I connect to our customers. Of course, it helps I’m not a ‘techie’, so I sort of speak the same language as our customers. But it doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything special, I’m just doing it because it feels right. I feel like my Mr. does something that’s special, because it requires a certain set of skills. But, yet, people think what I do is special to, because it’s not an acquired skill but it a personal skill.

Of course, when I look at when I do rationally I can be proud of myself. I’ve been doing things I never thought I would and I actually feel I can achieve something at my current job. Mostly because I’m working for a small business unit that is still growing and I’m bringing both the experience from working at a established Service Desk and the knowledge from higher education. But yet, I always have that little voice in the back of my head, asking myself if I’m doing the best I can or if I can do something more.
Last week I wrote about how difficult I find it to relax, I actually think this as something to do with the fact that I always feel that I can do better. No matter what I do, I never feel it’s good enough.

And that shouldn’t be the case. I mean, if I was this critical towards my friends if I am about myself I wouldn’t have any friends left. And if I look back at what has happened to me over the last 6-8 months I can really see how I’ve made choices (or choices that were made for me) that really helped me take steps forward, even though they might not feel this way at this moment. I’ve made the choice the step away from a relationship that wasn’t going to help me in the long run, I took a chance with new feelings that brought me an amazing guy and a great new start. I started a new job, where I feel I’m helping people doing their job instead of helping company’s that don’t fit my lifestyle (dairy/meat-production company’s) make more money.