I wrote this piece in Januari, just before we signed the lease on our apartment. But with all the stuff that has been happening over the last few weeks this became very accurate once more… Something to remember again

I think everybody has this, but I’m sure I have it even more. My brain just can’t stop thinking sometimes. Like last weekend when I was just feeling so tired, I was only getting more tired because my brain wouldn’t stop thinking.
Yet, my overactive brain isn’t a bad thing. Because of the way my brains are wired I think ‘different’ then other people do and this way I can look at issue’s from a number of perspectives.

Downside is that I can be overwhelmed with stuff, because I can’t tell if it’s important to keep it. That’s why I love Marie Kondo, she gives me an easy way of deciding if I want to keep something: “Does it spark joy”. Stuff like “one in, one out” doesn’t work for me. How do I decide what needs to go when I buy something new that I need. I would feel I would need to discard something that actually gives me joy.

While I’m aware that I don’t need a lot of things to make me happy. After watching a tv-documentary about consumerism I know a lot of people don’t think this way. This documentary showed a woman who bought loads of stuff for her house without paying too much. She believed she wouldn’t be able to give her children what they needed if she didn’t have access to really cheap stuff for her house. But why was she buying it? Because it was cheap, not because she actually needed it. She didn’t even think about the way these items were produced, I felt she ‘deserved’ them.

But I don’t want to write about buying stuff, I’ve done this before. I also want to write about mental clutter.
I have too much in my planner at the moment, and my to-do-list is getting longer en and longer by the day. I’m losing stuff that’s dear to me because I’m dragging all this stuff around between houses.

But does this make my feel important? No! I just feel overwhelmed and I actually end up not doing anything of my list because I have no idea where to start. Just before Christmas I went to the hairdresser, and I didn’t go to one of those cheaper ones where you’re just part of an assembly line, but I went to one of those hairdressers where I got a head message and a nice washing. Of course, it took a little longer, and I also spend a little more money then I normally would. But I actually really realised I was feeling more relaxed by the minute.

A few weeks ago we had a weekend where we didn’t have anything planned. The only thing we had planned was dinner and a movie. Not because we needed something to do, but because we wanted to spend time together without anyone else evolved. And while we where both doing our own thing I felt really relaxed. Just like when I was sitting at the hair salon I was feeling relaxed and I finally realised how exhausted I was.

And of course, more white spaces in my planner